The Occasional Independence Day Hot Dog Decorating Contest

July 5, 2009

DSC03222Pretty much no way of not sounding like a sore loser on this one, but the fact is: I was robbed.

Who else wrapped their hot dog in bacon? Who else utilized ancho and chipotle chocolate shavings? Who else used good mustard? Who else paired their hot dog with an ‘07 Duck-Rabbit Wee Heavy? No one but me.

And still, I was not most appetizing, most creative, funniest or best overall. Those accolades were reserved for the inedible “angel” hot dog, the “porcupine” hot dog and the “palm tree dog leaning against a hot dog log” hot dog. I won’t even mention some of the others. The shame in them is that they didn’t beat some of the pathetic winners, because Jake’s “clam sticking his tongue out dog” was actually pretty cool.

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Black Eyed Peas said it best: “They don’t want music.” It is hard to be an artist in a land of rednecks. I must remember that competition in art is silly. I’m proud of my hot dog, so shoot me for my necessary rant.


On Beer Wars

June 28, 2009

beerwarslivetheatreposterThough there was a mighty storm well before the film came out, I found it pointless to chime in, as I hadn’t seen it and didn’t know what I was talking about. After all, “It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.”

Thanks to the Hallmarkian Father’s Day, I now have a copy of Beer Wars (and some yummy bacon chocolate) and recently sat down to give it my attention. Basically, I thought it was a pretty good movie. It told the tale, and was a well-made documentary. This would be the kind of info that we’d want more and more people to see. Many of us in the Beer Geek Crowd are already familiar and sympathetic to the craft brewers’ plight, to some degree or another. But there’s a huge segment of our population that knows as much about beer as it does about processed cheese slices.

So why all the pre-release bitching? Press releases were sent out, and many bloggers posted info of the then-upcoming film. There was anticipation and dialogue. What’s wrong with that? Filmmaker Anat Baron would have been a fool to have not tried to generate interest and momentum. Her efforts worked, and it was not only beer bloggers that passed along her information, but also mainstream media. The latter, far more important, I’d wager.

There were also press releases from other sources. Rhonda and Moonshot, for example. She also would have been a fool not to have taken advantage of this opportunity to garner a little attention for her product in this situation.

A blogger has freedom. One can utilize these press releases. Or not. There are a number of beer blogs that rely heavily on these for content. I don’t. That’s not to say I don’t from time to time. I do, ever so occasionally. Does it massage my ego to know that I’m getting press releases in my inbox and samples at my doorstep? Yes. That’s pretty cool, but I’ll sleep at night if they don’t come.

I mentioned months ago that Beer Wars was coming. I didn’t mention Moonshot. Why not Moonshot? Because it sounds stupid to me. To me, it’s a niche product heading in the wrong direction, grasping at the coattails of craft beer’s rise. Have I ever tasted it? No. I would, but even if it tastes good, I probably wouldn’t drink much of it. I don’t drink much soda, and I’m not anti-caffeine, but I just think this is a lame idea and an inappropriate juxtopositioning of product, bad for our scene. I choose to drink beers of integrity, and to spend my money carefully. I don’t support McDonalds, Wal-Mart, Budweiser or Prozac, and this beer would have to be pretty incredible to win my dollars. I think it’s a gimmick to make money.

Is it horrible that Baron used this story in her film? Flatly, no. The film took on two stories from the start, and you never know how events will play out in a film of this nature. Rhonda had a successful beer story on her resume (Sam Adams), so would have been a good person to follow. To put together a good story, whether a novel, movie or campfire tale, one needs a good guy (Sam), a bad guy (August), and it never hurts to have a bonehead (Rhonda).

The special features of the DVD include the live panel discussion that followed the premier back in April, and it made for fun watching. One question that came via twitter struck me (and I paraphrase): At what point does craft beer shift from Underdog to The Establishment? The important answer came from Stone’s Greg Koch: “as long as we don’t change our fundamental philosophy” [this won't happen]. Greg spoke of intent as the difference in macro and micro earlier in the discussion. Terribly important point, but I thought this question lent a missed opportunity: while I like being the underdog and a part of this tasty movement, what would be wrong in a shift of what “The Establishment” is? What would be wrong with having flavor and artisinal products shift from 5% of the market to 75% of the market? Films like this can plant seeds to make that happen. And so can you.

Before and after the release of the film, I read comments of the “preaching to the choir” ilk. I find it appalling that these folks didn’t realize that they have a job to do. Get out of your comfort zone and bring someone to the screening. Invite someone to watch your DVD. Not your beer buddies, but your macro-drinking friends. Get off your duff and make war. Promote beer. Have tastings for friends. When I heard the film was coming, I said on my post: “Tell your friends. More importantly, tell your enemies.” Anat can’t do it alone. And we don’t help her by bitching about a press release or Ben Stein or Mike’s Hard Lemonade before the film even hits the screen. Or after.

Critics are good and a healthy component of society. But there is a difference between offering constructive criticism and simply complaining and tearing someone down. Human nature must be resisted if credibility is to be had. I am reminded of a post I wrote many moons ago, on Armchair Brewer Syndrome. I’d encourage you to read it, and then ruminate a little on the idea of Armchair Filmmaker Syndrome, which is pretty much the same.

To criticize then, and briefly: Beer Wars is an important story, well told. It is a helpful contribution to the beer canon, and one we can only hope the masses will eventually see (and then act on).

I personally would have preferred if Baron’s introduction of herself would have used the term beverage (not beer) industry to describe her familiarity with the beer aisle. Mike’s Hard Lemonade certainly must fight for shelf space like Dogfish Head does, but it’s a mildly related alcoholic beverage. Her credibility for making the film lies in her small business experience.

The meat was in the middle. Compelling, insightful. Made me thirsty, so I grabbed a beer.

And then, It was over. I thought the film would have been complete with a more structured conclusion. It just sorta stopped. And the credits came. And I felt like there was just a little something missing.

A good flick, but useless if the Good Beer Army doesn’t utilize it as a tool to win the war. It’s a foot in the door, a kick in the pants, a line in the sand about more than just beer. Artisan product versus commodity. It’s about the cheese we eat, the meat we eat, the bread we eat, the veggies we eat, the hardware store we support, the car we drive. But some won’t notice that. Beer Wars is a multi-faceted challenge.

Yep, that means you have a job to do. Are you doing it?


Stained glass appreciated

June 28, 2009

Brother Glenn pointed out that perhaps I should take the unappreciated “stained glass” from my home to decorate our restaurant. Alas, I’m way ahead of him, though utilizing my favorite tequila bottles, rather than the beery sort:

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These, she likes the looks of as they adorn all the dining room windows. Unfortunately, Cabo just changed their bottles, and the cool blue ones are no more.


Stained glass unappreciated, Part 2

June 25, 2009

He says art; she says clutter.She may be a Wonderful Beer Wife, putting up with yeast on the ceiling, allowing vacations to be planned around brewery tours and whatnot, but she doesn’t seem to like my recent tendency to create “living” stained glass art in the kitchen window.

She’s complaining again. Time to “clean up.”


My kinda church

June 23, 2009

According to the London Telegraph, there really is a church after my own heart.

Of course, there are the expected detractors, and the approving bishop uses the term “downmarket” to compare beer to the wine they serve for communion each week. But it’s a practical way to bless fathers, coupled with a challenge to do their fathering well.

And beer isn’t the only way identified to drum up church attendance. There are also the churches now serving bacon!

Mmmmmm…..bacon.


The Barter System, Part 2

June 22, 2009

DSC03116Iowa’s laws make it fairly difficult for a small dairy girl to get a cheese operation into the commercial realm. So she maintains a massive garden, milks her cows and keeps herself stocked in fresh butter and a variety of cheeses. And she gives good Christmas presents to her family.

DSC03111Thankfully I know her. And she will trade cheese for beer!

A week ago, we coordinated our schedules and hooked up for a bit of a tasting. And trade. Boy, are my buds happy. She pulled out fresh queso blanco and mozzarella, as well as aged parmesan and colby. I brought along Millstream’s Iowa Pale Ale and Schild Brau, Hub City’s Olde Browne Porter and Viking’s Big Swede. There was also a bottle of chianti sitting on the table, which I tried to confirm that Garrett Oliver is right about red wines sucking with cheese, generally (prolly not a direct quote).

It did suck, but the beers worked quite nicely, and I specifically found myself pleased with Hub City’s Porter.The HC beers all maintain a very restrained level of carbonation, and the porter I always look at as good, but not great. However, it was right fabulous on this day, most likely because it had had an opportunity to warm to a reasonable serving temperature. I must admit that if I happen to pull one out of the cooler, it’s because I’m thirsty and not planning a drink in advance. And don’t warm it up. That cooler is quite cold, so the beer is seldom at its potential.

But it was this day, as were the cheeses and the company.


Lucky me

June 15, 2009

lbUsually, when I eagerly anticipate a new beer, it’s big or black or barrelled. But this ain’t usually. For some reason, I’ve been looking quite forward to the stuff of Omaha’s spanking new Lucky Bucket Brewing to hit the market.

Nope, it ain’t big, and it ain’t bad. It’s a pre-Prohibition lager crafted by former Upstream brewer Zac Triemont and his tasty new enterprise. I find myself awaiting this lesser-exciting style because Zac’s Upstream days garnered awards and happy taste buds. This beer should be great. In a non-Russian Imperial way.

So I cut the grass and popped one open. And I was not disappointed. Crisp, refreshing and with a perky hop profile, this beer’s only problem is how quickly it vanishes from the glass. I simply don’t know where it went. Quaffable, I guess. Good. Great. Stop licking the glass. No, I can’t.


Cask questioning?

June 15, 2009

DSC03104I keep running the same question through my mind, emphasizing different words to find the answer:

HOW in the hell…

How in THE hell…

How in the HELL…

Why is CAMRA even necessary? Because How in the hell did British drinkers ever let kegs get a foothold? How were the differences not imediately shunned? How did the first keg ever run dry?

I always drool at the difference when I’m able to have a pint on cask, but yesterday this How in the hell-ness exploded into my brain with a pint of Upstream’s Capitol Pale Ale on cask at the source in Omaha’s Old Market.

Soft, lucious, incredible. These are the adjectives one musters. Along with one big question mark: How in the hell…


Why Beer Tourism is Better than other Geek Tourisms

June 8, 2009

Have you ever been to the monument to Oakes and Oliver Ames? Probably not, unless you’re a serious railroad buff. They’d be the only ones very interested in seeing this now defaced Wyoming monument to a pair of railroad rascals entrenched in the Credit Mobilier scandal during construction of the Trans-Continental Railroad. If you’re into that sort of thing, I bet it would be a fun trip.

Road Trip GasJust as it would be a right rush to attend a big comic book convention if you’re into that sort of thing. But possibly not as cool as donning your Storm Trooper Costume at a Star Wars Convention.

Rubbing shoulders with other like-minded individuals is certainly a good deal of fun. Meeting Leonard Nimoy to some would be akin to those of our beery ilk meeting the likes of Garrett Oliver or Tomme Arthur.

But in plain words, beer trips are better, and here’s why: With beer tourism, you not only see the places that are important to you, you not only fraternize with others like you, you not only take in the atmosphere that moves you, but you also get to taste your trip. You also get to smell your trip.

Only foodish geeks (beer, food itself, wine and bourbon, among others) get this additional layer of pleasure built into their travel. And that makes it better.


Happy Freakin’ Yeast

June 7, 2009

DSC03090I really hadn’t planned on brewing last weekend, but since the yeast I used to brew my latest batch of Shindig Belgian Pale Ale had been so horn-alicious, blowing the airlock off with such force that it stuck in the ceiling above (slight hyperbole), I decided to bum some grain from Monte and brew a quick fiver onto the yeast cake come kegging time.

The yeast in question: Wyeast 3787. The beer to follow: a patersbier brewed with 9 # pils and an ounce of Tettnang hops for bittering and an ounce of the same at knockout. Simple as a monk’s life.

Holy Fermentation, Batman! I checked on the carboy the next day and found that again the airlock had gone kaboom! I replaced it with a new one, and the next day, kaboom! Gone again. Plenty of headspace, mind you. Just a whopping fermentation.

If I had a place to put it, or the time, I’d brew again today, just to make use of its enthusiasm. As it is, all my kegs are full and I’m going to have to break down and bottle, something I haven’t done in a long time.

So I close with a New School blessing: May your grain be plentiful, your hops abundant and all your yeast happy.